Rants

Contains my posts ranting and raving about stupid people, social and political issues, and anything else I might feel like ranting about at the moment.
Oracle and jhermiz

Oracle and jhermiz This has been a test of absolutely nothing. I do believe this might be the most ridiculously stupid blog post I ever make.  :)

posted @ Tuesday, May 03, 2005 11:31 PM | Feedback (4)

SOX Auditing Companies SUCK!!!!

Just gotta rant for a second.  (I know it's hard to believe.)  There are only a few approved SOX auditing companies out there currently.  The law is so broad in scope, yet undefined, that auditing companies really have no idea what they are auditing for.  We have internal auditors talking to D&T; and one of the biggest problems we face is the vagueness of responses received back.  None of the auditors really agree with each other on what needs to be done.  Passing and/or failing an audit will not be determined by the security of the companies data.  It will be determined...

posted @ Tuesday, October 26, 2004 11:18 PM | Feedback (5)

SARBANES-OXLEY SUCKS

We are currently putting processes in place to comply with the Deloitte & Touche interpretation of Sarbanes-Oxley for our internal audit department, and for certification of compliance with Deloitte & Touche.  As a DBA, I normally don't complain about processes and have introduced many at my company; however, today I read the proposed functions the DBA would have in my organization if they pass the version currently being considered. Database Administrator:  The DBA will insure the integrity and performance of the database environment.  The DBA will not have access to security functions.  The DBA will not have access to the physical servers. ...

posted @ Monday, June 28, 2004 8:23 PM | Feedback (17)

If you're going to lie, can you at least make it believable.

On one of the forums at SQLTeam.com, a “development manager“ claims they have found a database engine that supports the following:   1.  Zero or near zero administration 2.  One physical file for the database 3.  Simple recovery procedures 4.  Physical file protection while at rest and in transit 5.  Acceptable performance 6.  Scaleability 7.  Small footprint 8.  SQL engine that typically eliminates the need for a DBA. 9.  SQL engine with one app supporting 50,000 connections to the database 10. The database is large (in the tetrabytes).  --ummmm, okey-dokey.  What's a tetrabyte?  Will it catch falling blocks and rearrange them in mid-air...

posted @ Sunday, April 25, 2004 3:46 PM | Feedback (9)

A table with a mind of it's own.

I ran across something today I have never encountered in SQL Server 2000; and thought I would share it with the poor souls unfortunate enough to read my blog.  We had a process at work that was taking several hours to run (mainly because the stored procedures are written like crap), and about 5 days ago just stopped working.  It would just run for 3-5 hours and then stop, producing an error saying it was locked by another process. There were absolutely no other processes running on this server to “lock” the process, including the process it said was locking it.  I set up a...

posted @ Wednesday, April 14, 2004 10:04 PM | Feedback (3)

The power of bold...and other useless ramblings

I recently posted a blog on SQLTeam forgetting to unbold my title.  I always bold the title for emphasis, but that day I managed to bold pretty much the whole aggregated blog page, which Tara Duggan was more than happy to point out.  :)  I tried to weasel out of it, but since Graz had already gone in and fixed it, there wasn't any room left in the tunnel to crawl under his feet.  Anytime you use a tag that needs to be closed, <b>CLOSE IT!!!!</b>  Wise advice from the Graz Oracle. But then life is full of these kinds of things...

posted @ Wednesday, April 07, 2004 12:15 AM | Feedback (1)

Vendors....We shall slay them and take their precious.

Does anyone else have problems with lying, cheating, stealing vendors promising the world and delivering nothing??? We've been dealing with E&& for several months now and I can't say I've ever been more disappointed in a vendor that hires sales staff who know absolutely nothing about how the product REALLY WORKS. We have 30 databases, with the production instances currently on the EMC SAN.  The hardware and technical support have been great, but we want to expand our product to include backup, development, reporting, and staging.  We decide to purchase ERM (SQL Server replication manager) and SnapView (to clone LUNs).  We draw a diagram...

posted @ Thursday, April 01, 2004 10:43 PM | Feedback (5)