TRUNCATE TABLE master..sysdatabases

...and other neat SQL Server tricks
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Database Mirroring on SQL Server Express Edition

Like most SQL Server users I'm rather frustrated by Microsoft's insistence on making the really cool features only available in Enterprise Edition.  And it really doesn't help that they changed the licensing for SQL 2012 to be core-based, so now it's like 4 times as expensive!  It almost makes you want to go with Oracle.  That, and a desire to have Larry Ellison do things to your orifices. And since they've introduced Availability Groups, and marked database mirroring as deprecated, you'd think they'd make make mirroring available in all editions.  Alas…they don't…officially anyway.  Thanks to my constant poking around in places...

posted @ Monday, April 01, 2013 7:00 PM | Feedback (0) | Filed Under [ Coolness Stupidness Oddball ]

Queerie Memoree Spils

Did you know that if you run a query in SQL Server, and it processes it as a hash match, and there's not enough memory to fully process it, the memory will spill to disk?  You can find out all about it here. Note: I know this makes even less sense than my usual blog posts do, so for more information, check out Jen's Awesomesauce blog entry about it.  (Please don't sue me Jen!) #sqlsue

posted @ Wednesday, October 19, 2011 12:00 AM | Feedback (1) | Filed Under [ Stupidness ]

How to do an ER Diagram

As a follow-up to my earlier post, I found yet another great free resource that the "professor" and the poor students taking that class should look at.  I found this via the excellent material Stanford provides for their open course on Databases. You'll notice how the example ER diagrams look nothing like the one the "professor" created.  They're clear, readable, have descriptive text, and use standard UML notation.  They also have accompanying SQL to show how the two languages relate and translate to one another. And if anyone is wondering (because I've been asked): I don't know if I'll...

posted @ Thursday, September 01, 2011 2:25 PM | Feedback (0) | Filed Under [ Coolness Stupidness ]


I received an "ER diagram" from someone enrolled in a "database course" offered by a "professor" at a "university".  This person would like to remain anonymous for the time being, as they are in an important position and don't want certain people to know what information they're providing.  Let's call this person Hal Holbrook. You can find the ERD here.  Go ahead and open it, take a few minutes, really check it out.  I'll wait. Seriously, it's worth your time. There will be a quiz later, and you'd better not fail it. OK, done laughing are you?  I wish I could stop. Disclaimer: all the...

posted @ Tuesday, August 30, 2011 4:17 PM | Feedback (2) | Filed Under [ Stupidness ]

T-SQL Tuesday #21 - Crap!

Adam Machanic's (blog | twitter) ever popular T-SQL Tuesday series is being held on Wednesday this time, and the topic is… SHIT CRAP. No, not fecal material.  But crap code.  Crap SQL.  Crap ideas that you thought were good at the time, or were forced to do due (doo-doo?) to lack of time. The challenge for me is to look back on my SQL Server career and find something that WASN'T crap.  Well, there's a lot that wasn't, but for some reason I don't remember those that well.  So the additional challenge is to pick one particular turd that I really wish I...

posted @ Wednesday, August 10, 2011 6:11 PM | Feedback (0) | Filed Under [ Stupidness ]

Use Microsoft DB2 OLEDB Provider On Non-Enterprise SQL Server Editions

Microsoft makes a pretty good OLE DB Provider for DB2 that you can use for SSIS, DTS, and linked servers under SQL Server. It's sometimes difficult to configure but you can get some good starter settings here. In yet another remarkable but not uncommon blunder on their part, Microsoft's installation package will only install the provider on a server with Enterprise or Developer Edition. Why they do this I don't know, but if you have a Standard Edition SQL Server and want to use this provider, here's a workaround: Install Enterprise or Developer Edition side-by-side on your...

posted @ Thursday, August 19, 2010 6:28 PM | Feedback (2) | Filed Under [ Coolness Stupidness ]

Sometimes it's just too easy...

Yet another fair and balanced Slashdot discussion about XML databases.

posted @ Tuesday, March 15, 2005 7:45 AM | Filed Under [ Coolness Stupidness ]

More MySQL on Slashdot

I almost feel like I'm making a career out of bashing MySQL. Make sure to check all the links and read the comments. Especially "Ode to a MySQL Fanboy" :) Seriously, it is probably the most succinct observation ever made.  "Ready for production", and still has the same old foreign key problems.  And creating an index can destroy a table. You'll love the responses from the developer too.

posted @ Thursday, October 28, 2004 10:19 AM | Filed Under [ Stupidness ]

PASS 2004: How NOT to give a presentation...

I just got out of a presentation on “Performance Tuning and XML Support in MS SQL Server 2005”.  Here are some high/low-lights: Zero discussion on performance tuning, except for “use showplan, it's great”.  Don't describe anything new about showplan either List various new and improved locking, query, and join hints, and....don't discuss them in any detail Provide almost no demos.  And then, they're demos that don't demonstrate anything; they're just one line queries Finally got into some depth on XML features, but don't describe how they work or what's new about them.  I think I now know LESS about XML support in SQL2005 than I did before...

posted @ Thursday, September 30, 2004 2:49 PM | Feedback (2) | Filed Under [ Stupidness ]

...Cause We Don't Have Enough Knock-Down, Drag-Out, Full-Contact Gladitorial Database Discussions Anymore

Fabian Pascal responds to an article on Slashdot about XML and Relational Databases. Slashdot discussion and feedback on it is especially entertaining. More kind words from Fabian add to the verbal melee.

posted @ Wednesday, September 15, 2004 10:31 PM | Feedback (2) | Filed Under [ Stupidness ]

It's Feburary the 31st. Do you know where your data is? MySQL knows...

Damian was kind enough to send this little nugget: It's not exactly a debunking of MySQL, but it does have a list of what it describes as "gotchas" regarding MySQL's behavior. A little explanation: the term "gotcha" is used, and not "bug" or "heinous, idiotic application flaw" because most of these "gotchas" are DOCUMENTED IN THE PRODUCT MANUALS! It seems MySQL considers February 31st to be a valid date...valid enough that you can actually compare it to other dates without throwing an error! This is considered ACCEPTABLE, DOCUMENTED BEHAVIOR! MySQL will also alter your table definitions without warning, if...

posted @ Wednesday, November 19, 2003 11:15 PM | Feedback (3) | Filed Under [ Stupidness ]

Is XML Evil?

About a month ago I was asked by a contractor I work with who needed to import some very plain, fixed-width, ASCII text file data into SQL Server. In fact, this SQL Team post is very much like his situation, in that he also was going to convert PLAIN, FIXED-WIDTH, ASCII TEXT (did I mention that already?) into XML and THEN import it into SQL Server. I was absolutely floored that someone would even CONSIDER doing it this way. The only analogy I can think of is taking a haiku that perfectly expresses an idea, and then spend months or...

posted @ Sunday, September 28, 2003 2:10 PM | Filed Under [ Stupidness ]

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