Mike Femenella Blog

..or maybe I'm just the guy with the shovel behind the horses in the parade

The 5 stages reviewing bad TSQL

by Mike Femenella

I'm working with an app team that is light on TSQL expertise this week and couldn't help but draw a parallel to the 5 stages of grieving.

  1. Denial: There’s nothing wrong with the code SQL Server has a bug in it. There is a network problem.
  2. Anger: You’re doing what in your code?! Why on earth are you doing that? That’s crazy.
  3. Bargaining: Fine you can keep your cursor but let’s speed things up a bit.
  4. Depression: Ugh, this is so horrible I’m never going to be able to fix all of it.
  5. Acceptance: Ok, we’re screwed and we know we’re screwed. This is going to hurt…